いく場所 / The place, where I go

永眠が
できる所を
探しても
大往生を
遂げないみたい

心臓が
泣きたいぐらい
痛くても
助けてくれる
人がいないか?

前向きに
生きる彼女は
心頭を
叩き壊した
死んでもいいか?

Translation

Even if I search
for a place
where I can sleep forever
it seems, I cant
die peacefully

Even though my heart
hurts
like it wants to cry,
is there someone
who wants to help me?

She, who
lives moving forward
shattered
my mind
Is it fine to die?

Interpretation / Explanation

Three tanka about death

  1. Sleeping forever means here to die and I search for a place, but due to not finding it,I can’t die in peace and therefore being restless searching for a place. Also it seems meaningless to die nor to live anymore
  2. When my heart cries and is in pain, nobody can see nor hear it. So there is no chance, that somebody will help me. My call for help fades in the vast
  3. My ex-girlfriend (she always said, she wanted to move on and we have to do it both), but didn’t understand that her actions broke me and my heart, that I couldn’t move on. Her egoistic behaviour made is so difficult for me to stand right, but she keeps saying that. She doesn’t understand, she doesn’t take responsibility. I just wanted to die, because I am broken and can’t live anymore keeping that shattered mind and heart.
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